A Reflection on Being 65

When I was a kid I never thought I would be here.  In the late 1950’s my Dad was about 40.  During a stretch of a few years or so, he had three friends that died, all in their 40’s.  I remember how distressed he was and, at times, it seemed that he was wrapped up in thoughts about whether this was going to happen to him.  I got this notion in my mind that the way things worked were anytime after 40 the rules of life said that you could just drop dead.  So what I began to focus on was living to the ripe old age of 53!  If I could only live to see the new millennium I would be satisfied.  Well that milestone is past and so is the big “six-o” and here I am at the culturally created “retirement” age.  It was not that many years ago that people did not go to work the day after their 65^th birthday – they were finished with their work career and were ready to go fishing and play with grandchildren.  While I am certainly ready for those two activities, tomorrow morning, Lord willing, I will be sitting at my desk and I have plans to do so for several more years.

 My thoughts this morning, on the 65^th anniversary of my birth, run as follows:

I find myself more inclined to thank God for his blessings every day.  I don’t think this is directly associated with this birthday but with a more consistent prayer life.  Many of my blessings are directly associated with my wonderful family – I praise God for them every day.

I find that I still have many more things I want to do but I am finally starting to “grow up” and realize that, unless I live to be 130, there is not enough time to finish them all.  So, with a more mature attitude, I am sorting through dreams and deciding which ones can really go on my “bucket list” and which ones need to fade away.

I find myself more sure of God’s love for me than ever before – which leads to being able to trust him more completely.   Lately, I have been able to turn more and more of my problems (and my angst with life) over to him and say with those brothers and sisters I met in Africa “whatever the Lord does is right!”

I reflect more and more on the minefield of my life (most of it self-created) and see the hand of Providence carrying me over the most difficult areas.  While there are many, many things I would like to go back and fix, many words I wish had never escaped my lips, many hurtful deeds I mourn over, I know that God’s grace has been at work in all those situations and that he has provided healing.

I have a continuing regret that I have not been good at nurturing relationships.  Scotty Smith refers to this as being a “frozen man” and I think that is an excellent description.  This does not mean that I don’t like people – I do, I love people – but I find it hard to build intimate, lasting relationships.  It is my hope and prayer, that God continues to work on me in this area, to make me transparent to those who are close to me and, that by the time I leave this planet, I will have enough close friends to carry my bones.

I do have a goal for the rest of my life: I hope that I will be able to say before I die that Jesus is everything to me!