A Week of Passings
During the period of a little over a week, four old friends died. The evening of June 1 our friend, Jim Newpart went home to be with the Lord. We met Jim and Mynra at a home Bible study when we first moved to Franklin in 1977. We were not particularly interested in being part of a Bible study but it was a good way to meet some new friends. That Bible study meet every other Thursday night for several years and we are still friends with most of the original members.
Jim and Myrna had moved with his job (IBM) to a number of cities. When the company wanted him to leave middle Tennessee, they decided to change careers rather than leave. Jim loved to build and over the years they built several new homes, all of which I loved. He not only had good instincts for what would make a house appealing, he had the energy to complete what he started in grand fashion. Jim was one of the neatest people I have ever met. His clothes and hair were always perfect. Myrna used to tell people that he did not even turn over in his sleep lest he wrinkle his pajamas.
I was closest to Jim during those years when we both were active in the same church. Jim was a faithful and effective servant. He had a heart for people and I learned from Jim how to balance keeping my eye on the objective while remaining attentive to the opinions and desires of others. When Cortez Cooper was preparing to start Christ Presbyterian Church, Jim was one of the "Brentwood Seven" that served as the original feasibility committee for the church. Jim and I both liked Vandy basketball, Titans football, and golf. All of these, as well as his warm love for people were stolen these past few years by his illness. Jim, we miss you.
On June 2, my second longest friendship ended. Father Edward Arnold completed his many years of service to Christ and went home. I’ll come back to him in a moment. On June 3 a classmate from Father Ryan, Tommy St. Charles, died. I have not seen him in years but I do remember a number of the funny stunts he pulled in high school. I also remember talking to him a few times at the business he owned. I have a general discomfort with the idea that one of my peers has fulfilled his days on this earth. If God gives me the days, I will experience more of these but I don’t think repetition will make the process any easier.
On June 10 Peggy Southard died after a long fight with cancer. Stu and Peggy served with us as the first leadership group for parents at Christ Presbyterian Academy. We enjoyed getting to know them. Later we were involved in a Bible study with them and I hooked up with Stu through some Christian Leadership Concepts contacts. In recent years they have been part of Strong Tower Church but their impact on Christ Community is still being felt. It was very sad in worship when the announcement was made.
Now back to Fr. Arnold. I first encountered him at St. Joseph’s Church in 1957. He had just been ordained to the priesthood and was appointed assistant pastor. I was in the 4th grade at the time. Several years later, while still at St. Joseph, I had developed a comfortable relationship with him serving as an altar boy and helping with various chores around the school and church. When the new sanctuary and living quarters for the pastors was complete, I was part of a group of students that helped the priests move. There was a box of books Fr. Arnold had that we were not supposed to look at. He told us that they were books on the "banned book list" of the Catholic Church. So what did we do? We looked of course, thinking these were a genre of books that would particularly appeal to 8th grade boys. They weren’t. They proved to be all theology — Martin Luther, John Calvin, etc. Boy, were we ever disappointed.
A few years later I was a student at Father Ryan and had Fr. Arnold one year for Religion and one year for Latin. It was in his class that I learned the saying "I don’t give hard tests. You make take hard tests, but I don’t give them." I use this every year with my students. Fr. Arnold was a very demanding teacher and could make life interesting if you dozed off during class or were misbehaving. He kept a supply of small pieces of chalk in his desk. He could hurl these with the accuracy and velocity of a major league pitcher. You did not want to be on the receiving end of one of these missiles! During my senior year I took my second year of mechanical drawing. Due to my schedule, I took this class by myself as I could not meet during the normal class time. One day Fr. Arnold walked into the room and asked if I would help him with a problem. He was the Chaplin of St. Mary’s Villa at the time. They were building a new chapel on the front side of the campus and he did not like the design of the window behind the altar (which was actually on the front of the building). He wanted me to design a new window. I'm not exactly sure why he did this (although at his funeral mention was made several times of his legendary frugality). I did what he requested and to this day, when I drive by St. Mary’s I take a quick look at the bay window I designed.
Fr. Arnold was pastor of our Lady of the Lake in Hendersonville where we moved after my graduation from college. He gave instructions to Dianne and baptized our first three children. Just a few years after our move to Franklin, he became the pastor of St. Philip’s, where he remained until his death. Since we were not attending St. Philip’s, we only saw him on occasion. When my mom died, her pastor was out of town and Fr. Arnold substituted and handled the funeral. He did the same 2½ years later when my dad died. For him it was not just something he had too do. He was very pastoral and I felt like he was part of the family. In fact, several months before dad died, he had one of those "mini strokes" and was rushed to the hospital. The nursing home had notified Fr. Arnold because he was the catholic pastor the home had on their call list. He met me at the hospital. I needed to talk to someone about heroic measures for my dad. I thought I had everything worked out in my mind but I found I was not nearly as comfortable when the situation was no longer hypothetical. Fr. Arnold sat with me and helped me work through the issue. I ended up where I thought I would but now I was comfortable because an authority I respected affirmed my decision.
For several weeks after our son, Andy, died we had a routine of sitting together and going through the mountain of cards that seemed to arrive each day. One day I found a card in the mail without any stamp or postmark. It turned out to be from Fr. Arnold. He had driven to the house but was overwhelmed by our very steep driveway (by that time he was having severe problems with his hip and walking on level ground was difficult). He had written a wonderful and comforting message on the card and left it in our mail box. A few weeks later he said a mass for Andy and invited us to have breakfast with him afterwards. It was very good time. We hit some of the high spots of those periods when our lives touched.
I attended the funeral mass for Fr. Arnold in a sanctuary that was almost completely full (1,000+). I can say that I was profoundly moved by the service as it broke through my personal thoughts and helped me focus on the heavenly realm. I did not want to leave when the service was over. By human standards, I would not be considered a close friend of Fr. Arnold — but my life was profoundly intertwined with his. I was very sad and I had the feeling that if I did not leave the building, somehow the connection would remain. I am still sad!
1 comment:
Dad, Thanks for opening your heart. I was very moved. I'm sad, too, especially about Jim, who I knew well and Fr. Arnold, who knew me from when I was tiny. On a lighter note, it's way cool that you designed a window on a building! I don't think I knew that. Love you.
Post a Comment